What Happiness, Grief, and Goals Have in Common (Whew, I Made It)


Ok, I have a love/hate reaction to February…you see my birthday is in February, and I LOVE celebrating and spending time with friends and family on my birthday. It’s also the time to celebrate Valentine’s Day, so I get to give and receive a few gifts with my husband, kids, and grandson.  I get to celebrate another year around the sun…but hey who’s counting?

February is also a sad month for me, the part that I hate. I lost my Mama, my Daddy, and my older brother (not in the same year) in February. While I’m celebrating my birthday, I’m also reminded of the people I dearly love that are not able to celebrate it with me. 

For me, January is the month to recover from all of the yearend holidays and celebrations…not a time to make any major changes in my life or business.  I take time and geaux away with like-minded women, usually somewhere in the Caribbean, to relax, plan and prepare for the new year.  This is part of how I practice self-care.  Each new year, I struggle with overcoming a roller coaster of emotions, but as January comes to an end, I can say to myself, whew, I made it.  And I find myself very aware of February and start to mentally prepare myself for February 1.

So here comes February with all its grief and happiness…sadness and celebrations.  This can be exhausting if I let it.  I have chosen to feel it all, because isn’t that what living is all about?  To feel and process the grief and sadness as well as the happiness and life celebrations.  

How do I get through it?

It’s taken me few years to recognize why I always felt like January was like a whole year in just a short 31 day month…ya know what I mean?  My roller coaster of emotions would distract me from following through with any goals that I had set for myself for the new year. Some people call them resolutions, I call them goals.

That’s why I started treating January as a regrouping and preparation period for my goals. Let’s face it, setting goals to begin in January is putting yourself through a lot. You are coming off of 2 major holidays that throw you off your normal routine and you are exhausted from cooking special extravagant meals, going to parties, and family gatherings.

So I asked myself, does it really make sense to say…

“Hey, let’s go on and throw in major life changes while we’re at it!”  Um, no it doesn’t, at least not for me.  I wait until January to figure out my goals because this gives me time to rest and then determine what my new goals are going to be and then I come up with a plan.

When February rolls around, I am ready to tackle my goals because I’m rested and have a well thought out plan. Giving myself time to rest and plan helps me better handle the emotions I associate with my love/hate of February.

Breaking tradition of January goals is one form of self-care that I do for me. I don’t have to follow the rules, and neither do you.  I can start whenever I want, that’s why January is the prep work, and I get to cookin’ in February.

Until Next Time, Blessings and Bubbles,


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